This week was a rollercoaster of emotions!
Something I've learned a lot about lately is talents, and developing them. On that topic, the Savior has two parables. The primary differences in them is one (the Parable of the Pounds) shows that people with the same amount of potential can yield vastly different results (this principle is also touched on in the Parable of the Sower, when the seeds that fell on good ground yielded different amounts of produce) and the other (the Parable of the Talents) emphasizes how people with different potential can still receive rewards based on how they use what they have. You can find the same principle in both -- those who don't develop their talents will receive no increase. I've thought about this, and have cause to sorrow that there have been many times in my life that I chose not to develop my talents, and that I didn't work harder at finding them. Our rewards in life (and after!) are based on the effort we put in, so it's a real shame I didn't do more.
But I rejoice that the Lord has opened the door to reparation, and has provided repentance and hope, through the atonement. I don't have to be weighed down by regrets -- I can change them into spurs to help me stay motivated and focused, and remind me not to waste what I have! As I continue leading the life I've been given, the development of talents will definitely take a more prominent place in it.
This week, we had Zone Conference, where the Mission President and senior couples offer training on all sorts of things. We focused on Family History in missionary work, English class, finding activities, and "Starting with the End in Mind." We had a roleplay where we taught what patriarchal blessings were, and one missionary's comment really opened my eyes. They said, "A patriarchal blessing is a father's blessing, from your Father in Heaven." That's exactly what it is! That was a cool piece of revelation, amidst many other things I learned in an atmosphere inundated with the Spirit. I've said it before, but I really do love President Morrisse. He's a great man. His wife is just as great! She said something that really struck me, and it's something like this: the core of inspiration is God's individualized love and care of each and every single one of His children.
I know that that's 100% accurate. If God didn't know us perfectly, if He didn't love us, there would be no revelations, no inspiration, no heavenly gifts. But He does, so there are! And like the Book of Moroni teaches, where these things cease, it's because of man's unbelief. That lesson hit me again later that week, as I struggled to know how to climb out of a pit of discouragement. It first came from a friendly comment from my district leader, and then I got a telephone call from my old companion, Elder Westbrook, that really helped me out. Those prepped me for an intense companionship inventory, which was really rough, but totally vital. After that, I realized that I needed to put a conscious effort into loving my companion. Whereas loving others comes naturally for me, the language barrier and our vastly different personalities really made that difficult. I'd been looking for ways to serve him, but not with the attitude of serving because I loved him. I wanted to work together well, but that's not enough. I'm glad I'm learning this lesson now, at the beginning of my mission. Some people are difficult to love, but that doesn't make it any less worth doing. It's a lesson that will help me throughout my life, and I thank God for it.
Part of improving that relationship is talking. Not just contacting while proselyting, not just confirming plans, but just day-to-day conversation. Since coming to Gimpo (김포) almost everything I've said's been in Korean. Truth is, I can't express a fraction of what I think and feel in Korean. While I've learned a lot and my speaking's improved, as a general rule I talk far, far less than I ever have before. That's one of the things I wanted to learn on my mission, but like any virtue, it can become a vice, and it did for me. I wasn't talking enough.
Whoa, wait a second! Elder Austin Lynn, not talking?!
That's right. I started to lose myself a bit, and became so focused on doing my best to be a diligent missionary that my companion became another missionary -- somebody I work with to do the work. That's not the proper view. I had to tear myself away from that, and do some sincere repenting for that. But, since then, it's gotten a lot better. I'm making an effort to make small talk, and my companion appreciates it. More than that, God appreciates it! Ever since then, we've been blessed with miracles every day. We're not splitting seas, but people on the street stop us and ask us who we are -- unheard of! I bear sincere testimony that God's ready to bless us, as soon as we qualify for the blessings!
I've been working hard on developing the Character of Christ, too. That's a lifelong pursuit, but this week I had an experience that really helped me see that I've made progress. We were streetboarding, and talked to this grandma who didn't like us. She was exhausted, so she sat down close by. I went and bought a bottle of water for her, and offered it to her. She refused it, explaining that she lived right across the street. I insisted for a moment, but then desisted. I was about to walk away, but then she patted the bench and told me to sit down. She asked me a question or two, then launched into this story. I sat there and listened. And listened. And listened.
Two hours later, we had to go, and that was when our conversation ended. I didn't get anything out of it! Zilch. Nada. I only caught a few random words. And, I had the biggest headache! My head was splitting in half.
Though the flesh was weak, my spirit was happy. I was really glad I'd been able to do that. Why? Because I put somebody else's needs ahead of mine. This grandma had something she really wanted to talk about, and although I couldn't say anything back, she was able to express it all. I'm certain she also thinks a bit better of the church now too, because she was using the Korean intimate form of "you" (당신). That was the first time anybody had ever used it on me; it means a lot in Korea! For those who haven't heard, the Character of Christ, simply, is this: He turns outwards, when we would selfishly turn inwards. I'm striving to develop that habit in my day to day life, and though it's tough, it's extremely rewarding.
As my final thought, I read something in my book "Mission to Be Happy" by Michael McLean, that addressed something that I've wondered if none-Christians thought about -- worshipping God. I could easily see people drawing incorrect conclusions about God from His command to worship Him (and I have seen them!). Summed up, Michael McLean had this to say: "God's desire for us to worship Him isn't because His ego is fragile and He needs our validation. He invites us to worship Him because He knows we become like what we worship, and He wants us to share in His incomprehensible joy." How beautiful. There's nothing at all selfish in it. His only desire is for us to be truly happy. "He doeth not anything save it be for the good of the world." "God is love." God's purposes and joys are written across the sacred records we call scriptures, and it always says the same thing: "I want my children to be happy." That's all He wants. He helps us avoid the things that look enticing, but are actually hollow. He would have us do the things that are hard, but bring great growth. Ultimately, He sent His son so that we could overcome our sins, and find peace and joy for all eternity.
Until Next Week,
Elder Austin Lynn
No comments:
Post a Comment